For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do–this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
We all know
this is the Apostle Paul. But it’s also me.
I remember when the Spirit informed me I was like Paul. Hmmmm. Say what ?
But yes, I sit here tonight and recall a lifetime of being an enigma to myself. So confused by my actions and inactions. So at a loss as to what made me tick, what drove my dark desires, what made me ashamed of how double-minded I was.
Teaching meditation in prison and striking my child all in the same week. Drinking to excess and starting WW3 with my spouse.
How can I be so honest about my dark nature? Christ showed me that it is ‘dead’. At the end of the day, it accumulates not. Only love lives on and is REAL. Grace is my name because I need it to be.
Anita means Grace because I needed a double portion to get to the other side of all this pain driven nature. I am no longer a dead woman walking. I am alive
and it
is the rare moment that the dead nature rears her ugly head.
Come to your yoga mat and see the stark contrast– knowing for certain that your old man Is crucified with Him and that henceforth we should not serve sin. Rom 6:6
encounterillumination 