The Heart center is the consciousness of love. And also grief.

When we practice this on our yoga mats, we know what it feels like to rest there with God. We are not alone. This becomes an embodied experience of being in Union with our Beloved. The challenge in our daily lives is that we depart. God does not.

We leave for shiny things. We leave for old patterns. We leave and we are lost from ourselves. How long does not matter because with the heart and love and shalom, only Kairos time is of the essence, not chronos.

When life brings us a storm – a fight with our spouse, an argument at work, an unkind word from someone online, news of the death of a loved one, a friend has cancer. We can begin to remain in our hearts and feel all of the emotions that come with reality. We can even build our conscious container so large that when the rage comes for all that is violent in the world, we allow that too. Now saying–

This too

This too…there is no rejection of psychic material. We are big enough to witness. We have returned to God’s heart holding our own tiny one and together we sit and allow love to rest with us. Trusting love is here, not there. Here we find our natural state of quietness. Where once there was a storm now there is the post-storm lullaby. A shush shush shushing by our Great Mother over us.

Did we forget to return? Did we falsely create a further storm upon storm, adding fuel to the fire of our intense emotions? Of course. Of course as humans who forget, we made matters worse with our stubborn need to be heard and right and strong, not yielding.

This too, is ok, because in Kairos time there is only now. Now is when we get quiet again and still. Now is when we breathe softly and once more receive God’s hope for us. For all of us.

For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do–this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

We all know

this is the Apostle Paul. But it’s also me.

I remember when the Spirit informed me I was like Paul. Hmmmm. Say what ?

But yes, I sit here tonight and recall a lifetime of being an enigma to myself. So confused by my actions and inactions. So at a loss as to what made me tick, what drove my dark desires, what made me ashamed of how double-minded I was.

Teaching meditation in prison and striking my child all in the same week. Drinking to excess and starting WW3 with my spouse.

How can I be so honest about my dark nature? Christ showed me that it is ‘dead’. At the end of the day, it accumulates not. Only love lives on and is REAL. Grace is my name because I need it to be.

Anita means Grace because I needed a double portion to get to the other side of all this pain driven nature. I am no longer a dead woman walking. I am alive

and it

is the rare moment that the dead nature rears her ugly head.

Come to your yoga mat and see the stark contrast– knowing for certain that your old man Is crucified with Him and that henceforth we should not serve sin. Rom 6:6

#inchrist#lovealone#falseself#selfawaren