You Are the Firmament

You Are the Firmament

” Man does not know he carries the stars hidden in himself and he is the microcosm and thus carries within him the whole firmament.” Paracelsus, the man who brought chemistry to medicine.


When did I stop believing what others told me about God and begin to experience firsthand? That’s an unanswerable question but I imagine the age of the guru/priest is coming to an end. When did I become the woman who brought yoga to Christians? Lots of people are on a similar East meets West path but in my neck of the woods (Jersey, )my calling has always felt a bit lonely butI’ve come to be a proud unicorn of sorts.


I first met the monk in residence at Community of Peace at the Wild Goose festival in Hot Springs, NC in 2015. It was kismet. With my 15 year old son asleep nearby in our tent, I wandered over to sit on the ground in the front row of an afternoon kirtan. Back at home I’d found kirtan to be one of my most powerful sound healings. During those years, my body still carried enormous unprocessed trauma charge and I was actively seeking relief from unhealthy patterns of thinking and behavior.Chant had become a place of yielding and of unity- one with God, sound, community and nature. On this day, a new ‘charge’ was expressing in my body as the chanter repeated Shakti, Shakti and my wildness began to unfurl. 


I let Her. 


I agreed, D’accord.

And in Stefan’s own words, “I was now the leader of the band.” See me smiling.

For there was no ‘I’, no self. There was only the invitational energy to be liberated from every social boundary, every cultural norm to behave, and any care for what others might be thinking. I imagine my feminine form morphed into one beautiful expression of shakti that day.


You see, if we get out of love’s way, we become the firmament. We can find ourselves being danced by Reality’s rhythms.Most of the time we are torqued within by unprocessed life experiences. Most of the time our nervous system is in some measure of fight, flight or freeze thanks to powerlessness in our past. Times when reality was just too much and our own energy did not flow freely; no, it had to form a dissonance. 


Enter yoga— the ideal method for untorquing energy and creating resonance. It is love who will invite all of our survival mechanisms to unfurl. Only love and grace and mercy have the power to unhinge these protective boxes we’ve stored within. 


I arrived at Community of Peace etin search of a weekend retreat without boxes. I desired to be surrounded by shalom, song, scripture and conversation. I found what I was looking for and much more. 

Chant your way to Peace

For years my students have commented on how much they love my voice while guiding their bodies and souls through yoga body prayer. Yesterday one of my senior citizen students said she was grateful for my voice and that it wasn’t ‘grating’.

I guess it’s been about 20 years now that I found myself in church worshiping and hearing my ‘grating’ voice. I felt badly for those around me and said to the One who hears our prayers– Lord, if you give me a beautiful voice, I promise to use it to praise you.

Interestingly enough, I meant my singing voice because I was thinking small! Now, not only have I taught hundreds of students in person, my yoga podcast has reached thousands and strangers write to tell me they love my voice.

During my first years on my yoga mat, I found the Ommmm especially powerful. I loved merging my sound with all the other sounds. I loved that I could play with the depth, length and whether it was quiet or loud. Turns out when you have a blocked throat chakra related to a freeze response, singing, chanting and even speaking boldly can be extraordinarily healing. Indeed, I don’t see how we can fully heal from past experiences of trauma without utilizing our voices.

For my 50th birthday I requested a kirtan, chanting party at a local yoga studio. I hired a 3 piece band and one of my favorite teachers led about 20 of us in an evening of Sanskrit chant. My body immediately leaned into the joy and freedom as I danced in my seat using my voice to give thanks to God for my life, health, family and friends. Because my body can recognize Truth, I am unafraid in making various sounds because deep calls unto deep. I do not box my Maker. I invite them out of the church and into the chamber of my heart. From within me, the One who dwells in my body temple can resonate with love, hope, joy, peace, extravagance, and celebration wherever that may be found. Even in the names of Sanskrit deities– what a mystery.

My students love my voice because my prayer was answered in a powerful way that day in church. When I speak I carry the very ruach of Emmanuel– you do too!! But first you must ask, believe and receive. Then the miracles may unfold. Be open to participating. And trust that dissonance is equally important. It’s crucial to discern what is not truth, what is birthed in fear and in opposition to love.

Watching Tina Turner the Musical and then being gifted her autobiography was more confirmation for me as her story of healing involves hours of daily chant which we now understand to be an organizing balm for the chaos of trauma within the nervous system. If you desire to be a more loving human you might try my 7 OT names for God

Yah Weh

El Roi

El shaddai Ehyah Asher Ehyah

Adonai

Jehovah Jireh

Shammah

Elohim!

You can find me chanting this on my IG

What we say and what we listen to has power– be very discerning

God is sound

God is frequency

God is Spirit

God will not be contained