Understanding God and the Human Nervous System

We see how God entered the human nervous system especially as we contemplate the cross of Christ. Did Jesus dissociate when he cried out– Abba, Abba why have you abandoned me?

I have thought so yes but in a sense, there was still a part of Him who understood the mission. Take the trauma of the people of the world and transmute it– once and for all. Turn pain and suffering into a creative new life force filled with connection and restored to a primordial power.

When the nervous system is regulated- the fear and memory of nervous system activation for survival has been healed ancestrally and personally. Can you even imagine this?

You must– you must 1st imagine and visualize this level of peace, safety and divine guidance. A God who breaks His own patterns and recollects us to the primordial system of the fascia. Yes, still physical– still in and of the body!!

Spiritual and harmonized while remaining in Her– the Source of all. In HIM, the placenta, the Lion, the Dove: All the metaphors apply here. It’s the best news about the sound of Heaven. The echo of the Ommmm. The frequency of Love and power.

Flowing to us and through us– uniquely singing our small part in the great Chorale — where the spiritual heart is able to be an open vessel for God’s mysteries.

This is my prayer over you today and in the season to come.

That all people everywhere trust in the consecration– you are a sacred and holy people.

Madman or Magician

I’m listening to a podcast with Elise Loehnen (Fissmer) Pulling the Thread. SHe’s interviewing author and psychotherapist Karl Deisseroth Md, PhD. As they discuss what in the DSM responds well to meds and what rooted in childhood trauma does not, I had the insight– the download so to speak– only that which originated as a mismatch to the new life in relationship can be repaired in relationship– the same relationship– parent to child. Not in the natural but as an adult in the spiritual realm. The OT ends with the reconciliation of parent and child– powerful huh.

Well, we are part of God’s internal family system. We are a cell in the body of God so to speak. The micro to the macro. We look like our Abwoon (parents). Our natural life is aligned with the Great Mother and we operate like nature– letting go, growing, planting seeds of compassion. Letting go, expanding consciousness, growing a seed of mercy….did I say Letting go?

We have the innate need to connect with, rely upon, be supported by, guided etc. by the invisible Source of our Being. If we neglect this deep Soul Truth– we suffer. But we don’t recognize suffering if we look to the world. No, we look like the world when we are striving, grasping, complaining, worrying, gossiping etc. Abba does not judge this. This is part of being human and growing and maturing

Abba is the perfect harmony of meeting us in our messes and helping us up out of the pigslop and finding our way into better quarters. We MUST awaken to growing worthiness, growing in thriving and leave behind our old self. As a new creation we are constantly making stuff– encouraging others, building others up, connecting heart to heart. Then RESTING. deep soul rest which restores the brain.

But Trauma– light in need of mending. Light that’s chaotic, distorted in the nervous system, in the fascia is the suffering self . We despise her, she’s a stranger. Annoying. Demanding, too much– too horny, hungry and greedy. But you see– Abba knows she’s trying so hard to FEEL alive!! She’s doing everything in order to know she exists and can experience pleasure and yes pain. Contrast is needed. We often hear it called the life and death of Christ in us.

We need light and dark. Matter and energy. Spirit and dust. masculine and feminine. They dance– not compete. But when I was in my trauma brain I had an inner enemy…I was always hating on my self, my body, my behavior (or lack there of), but too much ‘me’ was the problem I needed to have children, be of service, get outside of myself and understand the law of karma. I needed to keep caring about others and bumping off them to see myself better, more clearly and see the ways I was NOT the woman I thought I’d be…I was on a collision course to divorce if I didn’t get my act together. And yes, I often created outer enemies too– projections.

ultimately, with nervous system regulation we are within ONE voice. and that voice is rooted in Love. Nervous system regulation is not ease, it’s not peace, it’s not anything but connection to Self. We remain. We do not abandon ourselves, or berate or shame for having human needs and desires.

Whether it is your own mind’s voice or when you hear from the shepherd, it is love. Your parts are organized and your intuition is organized and your Light is organized into a grand symphony playing– magical. Not madman. No fear of being crazy. It is a world who does not communicate with their Abba that is crazy. Every Child of God has access to their spiritual parent– unified. You are back in the arms of a sweet safe One.

John 3:5. It’s a brain wave pattern restoring that frequency from first year of life.

Flow State is Kingdom

I’m teaching my senior citizens a chakra series. For the last two weeks we focused on the root chakra. It is here that we stabilize, find secure attachment and focused attention. Begin at the beginning. Understand that your very body is the ancestors. You within your ordinary flesh contain the All.

This week we will enter the Sacral — woot woot!! the Land of relationship, flow state, pleasure and practicing letting go: into the river of life. We now have the stable container to hold the waters of life and we trust the pouring out. Here we begin to explore sensory communication from the body mind.

We trust that with rest, we will once again be infilled. We have strong boundaries here and any previous traumas and abuses are healed.

At the Sacral we feel that movement– dance, yoga, walking, strength training brings yummy brain chemicals. Movement is holy and ENJOYABLE.

“The universe (God) exists through a constant dance of consistency (Shiva) and change (shakti). Through consistency (discernment) one finds deep meaning. Through change (yielding) one finds stimulation and expansion. To find consistency (peace) within change (flow) is to embrace life’s unfolding nature (tao or Christ).”

I’m adding to the words of Anodea Judith in Eastern Body Western Mind.

Yoga is the practice which works in a spiral– we keep returning to center and along the way our awareness sweeps past debris that needs releasing. Old thinking, obsessions, patterns which don’t serve. If only we would trust these bodies in their innate capacity to heal and release. We with our conscious mind show up and yield to the ancestral actions — we don’t even need to understand. We simply with the faith of a mustard seed keep breathing, chanting, stretching and digesting our lives. Past present and future merge into a mosaic of eternal now. This is where the gods live. This is where we discern Herod from Christ. For we have had Herod consciousness too. We humbly seek the true Padre– the one united with Jesus in unfathomable love, mercy and forgiveness.

We dance here with them– the joyful trinity of our mind, body and breath within the larger context of our Divine Creator.

Good Psychology makes for Good Theology

Reading + contemplating some Jung-

“For the woman, the typical danger emanating from the unconscious (to my mind, read GOD) comes from above, the spiritual sphere personified by the her animus (her internal masculine aspect of Self). whereas, for man it comes from the realm of the world and WOMAN — the anima projected onto the world.”

This statement if true and I do believe it is, has massive ramifications for humanity. In my experience, I must individuate and grow my inner boy child up to full maturity and then and only then will I see that work manifest in the physical realm. The heroine journey so to speak in becoming whole is my joy, challenge and responsibility. It’s empowering for women everywhere.

We must refuse the projection of the world onto our identity at every step and this requires a daily letting go. We look within and only within–into the abyss of the Soul for guidance, instinct, revelation, faith in our innate goodness. In other words, the Christ garrisons our divinity and humanity in the heart.

Who else has been dreaming about baby boys of late?ndi

Men, you certainly aren’t going to wait on us . What comes up for you upon reading this?

Kamikaze Kyle (an excerpt from my new book Kamikaze Yogi)

KAMIKAZE KYLE

“Death and life are permeable states because

the ‘Risen Christ’ represents to us everyone who has ever died.”

I Cor 15 (version unknown)

Life is a mystery. Death, also.

Of one thing I am certain, Heaven would never be selfish and keep our loved ones locked away from us. Jesus’ Paschal mystery (the passion, death, and resurrection of Christ—the work that God the Father sent His Son to accomplish on earth) is about much more than the miracle of a physical body resuscitated beyond the grave. For every human, there is a path of ‘dying to the Self’. In Christian theology it is called kenosis (a Greek word meaning the act of emptying), and relates to our fears, and to the identification with a limited, disconnected ego. The word kenosis is used in Philippians 2:7, and says that Jesus made himself nothing. The verse translates to becoming entirely receptive to God’s divine will.

I imagine, on resurrection day, Jesus burst through each realm—from earth to hell, to heaven, and back to earth—to reveal to us what is possible.

My husband, Bob, and I have a GodSon, Kyle. Kyle passed in March 2019 after a courageous seven-year battle with a brain tumor.

Kyle, like all of us, is a child of God. God’s son. In those final months as he endured suffering, those two words, usually with different meanings, began to merge, becoming one and the same in my breaking heart: Godson and God’s son became GodSon.

When his body died, we experienced deep grief. In a time when we needed support from others, it seemed difficult for others to understand the effect of Kyle’s passing on us—we were close. This was not the passing of an extended friend. There was a stinging pain to this; even our church family didn’t seem to comprehend the relationship. It was painstaking to repeatedly explain that our grief was intense and prolonged because of this special assignment—that we needed prayers and care too. Over time, I have been able to show our community what it means to Bob and me to have a spiritual son. Once we see ourselves being God’s child, we extend this to others much more readily.

Kyle loved to express himself with tattoos and, about a month before he left his body, I was visiting and he wanted to tell me about his next tattoo (his tenth, I believe.) On that visit, Kyle found it difficult to speak and became increasingly frustrated. Mark, Kyle’s dad, told Kyle not to worry, and he pulled out his phone and brought up a picture of a skull with goggles and a helmet. It was a morbid image. For a moment, I was lost for words. Then I noticed the skull had a yellow scarf and so I said how much I loved the sunny color he’d chosen. But in my head, I was thinking: Kyle, WTF?

The next day, as I prayed for him, it hit me. That was no ordinary skull, that was a kamikaze pilot. I googled the image. Sure enough, plain as day, there he was. I’d missed it because I had been taken aback with the death imagery. I texted him excitedly: Kyle, you couldn’t have known this, but that is the name of my book. You are getting a kamikaze pilot tattoo.

(Note: even before I knew what this book was about, God had given me the unique name for it.)

Kyle couldn’t use his hands that well, he was limited to texting with emojis. He shot back a thumbs up. I typed back: We have such a special connection, you and I… I later wished I’d added: a soul connection…

And then he sent me a red heart.

Moments ago, I stopped typing this draft and went to my phone with the thought that the old text thread would be there so I could quote verbatim. But I found an empty thread. I burst into tears. Gone. Whyyyy? I wailed.

The day after the red heart text, I prayed for Kyle, again, and texted him: Buddy, you know you are not this body with an expiration date, a brain riddled with tumors. You are not a mouth that can’t form words or hands that can no longer type. You are a soul filled with love, a Spirit which soars with God throughout eternity. I know he sent me lots of red hearts that day. My heart burst; we understood one another at a level beyond language.

Kyle’s soul knew he’d put on his goggles and helmet to protect him as he traveled through the realms. No need to make that stop in hell since Jesus took care of that for all of us. Kyle was fiercely declaring: death has no hold on me. Death is not the end. What appears dead is only dormant.

Search for love beyond your fear and your limited mind. Enter your heart to discover a realm of heaven. Go searching, come looking, like Mary Magdalene did at Jesus’s tomb. Look for evidence of Heaven in your life. Discover Him in your inner world.

Wherever there is beauty, there am I. Laughter, that’s me. The break of dawn, me. A peaceful time chilling with friends, I’m right here. Tears? I am with you in your pain.

Know that this is Him, this is you, and this Him is in you.

These hearts of ours, these walkie talkie hearts that work as spiritual receptors, can receive the love of heaven and get you to feel it, all from the realm that Kyle now occupies. Heaven is within us. Heaven is now. It’s a newly opened space from where grief dug its grave in us.

We may have had a fixed idea about our physical reality. We may be stuck in our Western brain. But we can change. We can and must lift ourselves out of our despair and continue our searching in the East.

Bob and I do it for Kyle. Who are you doing it for? Who will you do it for?

Out in nature, we’ll find our nervous systems regulating, and we’ll relax and get present. We’ll invite the Spirit in and tell Her to have Her way with us. Enchant me! We consent to your action. We want to know about God’s son. We shout into the void of the night sky: “What have you done with him?”

This speaks to Christianity rooted in wisdom and mystery, recognizing us as incomplete until love opens the door to connection to the Holy Spirit. Our Eastern practices bridge the way to what was always intended but somehow derailed. I recall many occasions where the Spirit required obedience; the ‘go’ to receive or serve in ways that I didn’t often understand at the time. We follow the One who makes us “go”. He is the Life.