Tag: energy

The Ending is Sweet

Friends, if we are a small human with no concept of history and battles, no concept of kairos time, we will find ourselves powerless living in our heads — where the past and future are stored, conveniently. In this headspace, we are not required to come down off our cross, off our high horse and serve the real world. No, we are too busy– busy judging and worrying, busy planning and ruminating. We have no energy to serve our souls or those we encounter. We are exhausted.

Sound familiar ?

It’s in our incarnation that we embody the spirit. In this teeny tiny body that is finite we uncover our capacity to carry the infinite. This is not something our brain can hold and so we must feel it with our hearts. We must draw close to God and one another and feel each other for our humanity depends on this sensing function.

When we do draw close- what do we see with our one eye open and one eye closed? We might see fear, or grief. We might also see ‘sin’. It is only with our growing awareness that our surrender to God’s vision for humanity might save us from ourselves.

And so this sweet and happy ending comes to mind. This long- awaited homecoming into the arms of Creator. Let’s not wait until after we’ve left these teeny, tiny messy bodies, ok? Let’s allow the kingdom of heaven to impact us in the world. That will require vulnerability and courage. For each of us, it will be very different.

Sometimes life/reality/God gives us our medicine watered down. And other times we have no capacity to take in the diagnosis, the accident, the abusive voice, the cheating, the lies.

Our inner child is part of how we grow capacity. We refuse to self-abandon. She’s always included– this innocent one. This creative one. This one desiring fun and connection. He draws close to adult me and wants to feel safe. Will I allow their safe expression?

So if you are like me, you are trying to take your medicine (nutrition, balance, strength, tough conversations, cleaning out the closet for gosh sakes!) and you are not giving yourself enough moments of awe and wonder. Let us walk in nature and allow the largeness of the universe to right -size our worries.
And once again we will draw close to our friend and hug them with genuine care. We will bake those cookies, singing our song into the batter. We will shoot off that encouraging text. Because we matter. Each of us really matters.

The Ending is Sweet.

I am Word made Flesh

I’m often contemplating the shape of the cross. What does this vertical “On earth as it is in heaven” goal mean?

What does the horizontal truth of a wide and gracious

energy or spirit that is far-reaching east to west?

What feels prescient this week is the humility of embracing energy healing that is pure grace.

I went to a Biofield tuning session a few weeks ago and I literally FELT the restoration of water being poured back into my guts, my solar plexus.

I didnt’ have to do anything but believe and in faith trust the practitioner of this amazing frequency healing through the use of tuning forks.

But that’s not the whole picture of course– in these bodies are charged with all the movement, all the nutrition, all the connection to our neighbor. There’s action!!

It’s not all rest and digest

It’s putting legs on our faith in a way that is ordinary (weights, service, fasting, cardio, sweating, cold showers, journaling etc)

And the cross will always be the shape which informs my living in harmony with Christ. The doing, the being, the not bypassing…

The healing is a restoration of immense magnitude!!

We are Word made flesh.

#incarnation#embodiment#kamikaze#anchor#pentecost#HolyGhost#MindBodySoul

Dharma + Karma in Harmony

We are in our own way! I was at the neurologist over 11 years ago complaining of memory issues, brain fog, mood swings and guess what he told me–

You are a bored housewife. I was so very angry at that rude man! Didn’t he know that I had 3 part time jobs?

He brought the sword of truth to a place that needed the pain of Christ to divide up my small ways of thinking patterned in a hostile past. I was repeating my trauma conditioning without being conscious. I get frustrated with myself. And I get frustrated with others but our heavenly Abba is simply never frustrated with us. He will keep dropping hints until we are ready to make the change because we need new energy, new inspiration and purpose to drive the action.

The only way to new neural pathways and a new good life free of self-imposed suffering was daily bravery. Stretching who I thought I was and what I was capable of.

Here I am all these years later and nothing has changed at 58!

I am a lifelong learner evolving and finding ever deepening faith and meaning.

We must all balance the forces of foundational dharma (stability, structure, fundamentals) with the forces of karma (mobility, chaos, change, growth).

Yoga is one powerful daily ritual which brings structure to the inner chaos of the subconscious mind, merging consciousness and unconscious (hidden cosmic) power so that we can be of service in big and small ways.

Jesus brings the sword and we must trust when we hear the words which are meant to challenge and anger the tiny, fragile ego– there’s more of you to BE. Inhale the Ruach of the Living One deep into your belly. Fill your whole body with the breath of new life and exhale deeply, sighing out a loud trumpet sound of stress. Again and again until you are more sure of your abiding in God’s body and heart.

Receive Divine Love and go!!

Yoga Nourishes Your Spirit

Yoga has been a body prayer for me because it’s 30-90 minutes dedicated to time with the Lord. Initially people may think it is physical because the practice meets you right where you are but eventually it opens your heart to the reality that its worship of mind body and spirit. Your inner Trinity aligns and you dissolve the ordinary worries of the day as you enter a higher consciousness.

The mission of yoga according to the Sutras is the exact same mission as becoming a follower of Christ–

A yogi’s goal is to ascend to the cosmic spirit from which the soul has descended.

A Jesus follower’s goal is to ascend to the christ spirit from which the soul has descended. ‘We believe in ONE GOD”

See how East meets West in such a powerful realization of who we are at our deepest essence?

Knowing the Holy Spirit is an actual embodied endeavor– not intellectual (some of the time, sure) but it’s got to include your WHOLE self! This is how healing ensues.

Holy Spirit gives us revelation of the Father and is your personal tutor. Life and life abundant comes from the awakening energy of the body and spirit both and how they dance.

I have not been afraid to be wrong. I’ve been afraid to minimize the power of Christ in us. This power will transform your entire life trajectory when you begin to have faith in the unseen.

Healing my Mood Disorder

7 years ago we had a day retreat at my church with my pastor and two participants. We ritually walked through a door threshold stating an intention.

I had no idea why my voice released this statement: I AM AN ICEBERG MELTING.

Come to see that these 7 years were about God circumsizing my heart and me yielding to healing my functional freeze state through oceans of tears. Sometimes I was being re-traumatized because I did not yet fully understand the power of yoga practice and was going too deep.

Ultimately, I was healing my sacral chakra and reinstating emotional regulation and maturity after decades of suffering from a mood disorder : PMDD, which is similar to BPD and is rooted in insufficient metabolism/mitochondrial dysfunction. I also suffered with chronic IBS during that time (no coincidence).

Read that again– additionally my drinking was further inducing depression and most certainly the potential for cardiovascular disease. We are speaking about brain energy.

I’ll never forget reading the books “Brain on fire” and “Scattered Minds” and coming to understand that my own body was allergic or attacking my mind in an attempt to wake me up to the suffering self, the pain body Eckhardt Tolle teaches about. This body within that carries death due to unresolved issues in our tissues.

I told my mother last week that I have come to understand these ancestral bodies as having ONLY two choices to carry our pain and memories of being powerless in the face of danger:

Chronically or Acutely, but no one is left without the cost.

I choose conscious healing and therefore experience the emotional intensity TODAY and then it is released. I’m not stuck any longer, nor am I broken.

This day, I am going to walk through my home threshold with a new statement–

Peace LIVES HERE. Harmony is my homeostasis. I can always find my way home to a

stable CENTER.

Whatever it is that you are dealing with mentally and/or physically, know that mind and body are ONE and you are not alone. What is most important is to maintain a hopeful and strong SPIRIT in pursuing relief. We are all in different seasons and must trust that they are varied and important.

Society is sick and we are individual cells honoring these bodies as part of the larger illness at every systemic level. It is not our fault but we have the responsibility and agency to HEAL.

It’s hard work. But knowing how deep rest is critical in finding the balance is crucial too. Growing our ability to sit with discomfort — whether that’s physical or emotional is a sign of our evolution.

We are in this together- no one battles alone and God is on our side. Seek holistic understanding — east must meet west in our wholeness. Mind Body and Spirit are a dance of energies.

I believe in US.

Build a Castle Within

During the years I penned my 1st book Kamikaze Yogi, I had the affirmation of my then male pastor. I’d go to see my mentor once and month and she’d say on occasion — Anita, do you realize how often you say that man’s name? In repsonse–Yes, Tip, I do realize. I care about that relationship. We call ourselves the preacher and the prophet.

It’s beautiful to build relationships! It’s hard work and they make us who we are. We nourish one another and challenge too. On the day he baptized me, my cousin had a vision of ‘something’ passing between us. Let me say that differently -on the day Jesus baptized me with his Holy Ghost I chose in my spirit to trust HIM in all that was about to unfold. We women have given our power away to man since the dawn of time.

I’m currently offering an IG body prayer each week for Lent this year as a complimentary practice to help others connect mind and body and awaken to the ways we all disparage these hard working creatures. This week I’m sharing from Eccl. 3:7 a time to break and a time to mend. Don’t we just hate the seasons of breaking? It could be job loss, divorce, illness, death..breaking is so painful.

When my book finally released, my pastor wrote the most beautiful heartfelt review on Amazon. My favorite line was about how ‘strange Anita’s writing can be because that is in line with the Bible. The scriptures are so very strange!”

But then in my spirit a week or so later I awakened to a knowing that the review had been removed. Yes, without first discussing it with me. As you can imagine this breach of trust ripped me to my core. From not just any friend, but my pastor, a man of the cloth. See what I did there? See how I had placed this ordinary human on a pedestal? This means I was meeting a part of myself lacking agency, a part that was disempowered from a prior ‘rupture’ by a man or men.

See how all things can work together for us to restore our identities and wholeness in Christ? It took me about 6 months to forgive and to discuss how I was taking my power back. Ultimately, my final lesson came when there was one more breach and I really wish I’d responded with ‘Get behind me Satan” because between us, there was a masculine/feminine demon dividing up the Divinely-ordained love that is available. Mutual respect and connection of the heart are what revelation speaks of in the new heaven and new earth.

But we cannot make others see and we can only choose to walk away with dignity, understanding that this is our story to tell.

Abuse fills our ears with the lie that we should keep quiet. For to keep secrets is survival.

I’m no longer in survival mode. I’m thriving. Especially after taking all this power back to fuel my voice in the world. Our nervous systems will keep us safe with our fawning, and our freezing. But we are able to move up into fight mode and stand up for ourselves. We do not have to abide by the ‘nice girls’ trope. We are to be authentic and with courage tell others what is and is not acceptable. We will not be bullied. Either the person plays by our rules or we walk away. We have choices and boundaries now. We no longer have to be held down by the boot of an imbalance of power.

Grab the soul key Jesus handed you and set yourself free my friends. Live a liberated woman in the ornate and many-roomed inner castle of your psyche. Your power is in your voice and your voice is a harmonic message of truth and love. The spiritual life is complex and beautiful and backed by God’s word.

1 Cor. 4:20 For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of Power.

Sheeple

A few thoughts on ‘mob mentality’ on being sheeple, on being swept up in the group energy.

I was in church a year ago November when a few people stormed out when they realized that what was supposed to be an opportunity to be supported in our grief, was in fact now a shame and blame session. My one friend that I know of was able to hold her peace amidst this shift but I could only hold it for so long and then I lost it..swept into anger. I restored my peace after a good night’s rest.

I was in a different church a few months ago as an invited guest when the pastor began to preach a message of untruth, of condemnation over certain populations. His message was filled with mixed messages – some judgment then an attempt to return the Gospel (LOVE). I was able to stand firm two weeks in a row in my my embodied harmony of head and heart as I intentionally took a ‘mountain posture’, a garrison within. I did not LOSE my center, the mob did not influence my spirit.

We all are human and lose our voice and after the fact may wish — I had said this, or done that.

Funny thing was, a few months after my first example I told one of our pastors that the Spirit told me– next time you find yourself in a situation swept up in fear and anger, DROP TO YOUR KNEES

PRAY

That is the appropriate response. Turn to God for Help.

Guess what he said to me—-

nothing.

That was when I knew it was time to leave. That was exactly one year ago.

Discern the spirits my friends. Be a force for GOOD

Let your love speak and sometimes use your words

Holding opposing forces in tension

How are you going to hold two seemingly opposing views together in tension?

A year ago December I was in church and all the grief and lament of our community filled me to bursting. I was alone in my wailing publicly until someone came beside me and embraced my shoulders and allowed me to process what was flowing through. Is this a gift? Sure but

It’s also a sign of an excessive and imbalanced sacral chakra.

I did not know this although I’ve been studying my own energy and chakras for about 8 years. Well I should say– I knew it but I did not yet embody this understanding .

I was at a new chiropractor last month who said “you are leaking energy all over the place”… I somewhat took offense.

You see, my acupuncturist told me that I have a very strong constitution and am powerful. I have friends who comment on my anointing, I don’t like seeing myself as ‘leaky’ 😉

I did not want to hear this. Enter beginners mind

Humility

And yet, he planted a seed and I have been actively healing my sacral since. It’s brutally painful work. We are dealing with a young child developmentally–maybe 7-10

and her unmet needs.

We are listening to her not feeing safe and her emotional outbursts. We hold it all for HER.

This is the work of the cross in that we all have mostly ignored the depths of our suffering selves and so there is

a fair amount of stuck life force or trauma charge stored in the body and ALSO–

there is energy leaking

as others draw upon us without our consent.

It’s a WOUND. In need of compassion and balance.

In need of Justice.