I’m listening to a podcast with Elise Loehnen (Fissmer) Pulling the Thread. SHe’s interviewing author and psychotherapist Karl Deisseroth Md, PhD. As they discuss what in the DSM responds well to meds and what rooted in childhood trauma does not, I had the insight– the download so to speak– only that which originated as a mismatch to the new life in relationship can be repaired in relationship– the same relationship– parent to child. Not in the natural but as an adult in the spiritual realm. The OT ends with the reconciliation of parent and child– powerful huh.

Well, we are part of God’s internal family system. We are a cell in the body of God so to speak. The micro to the macro. We look like our Abwoon (parents). Our natural life is aligned with the Great Mother and we operate like nature– letting go, growing, planting seeds of compassion. Letting go, expanding consciousness, growing a seed of mercy….did I say Letting go?

We have the innate need to connect with, rely upon, be supported by, guided etc. by the invisible Source of our Being. If we neglect this deep Soul Truth– we suffer. But we don’t recognize suffering if we look to the world. No, we look like the world when we are striving, grasping, complaining, worrying, gossiping etc. Abba does not judge this. This is part of being human and growing and maturing

Abba is the perfect harmony of meeting us in our messes and helping us up out of the pigslop and finding our way into better quarters. We MUST awaken to growing worthiness, growing in thriving and leave behind our old self. As a new creation we are constantly making stuff– encouraging others, building others up, connecting heart to heart. Then RESTING. deep soul rest which restores the brain.

But Trauma– light in need of mending. Light that’s chaotic, distorted in the nervous system, in the fascia is the suffering self . We despise her, she’s a stranger. Annoying. Demanding, too much– too horny, hungry and greedy. But you see– Abba knows she’s trying so hard to FEEL alive!! She’s doing everything in order to know she exists and can experience pleasure and yes pain. Contrast is needed. We often hear it called the life and death of Christ in us.

We need light and dark. Matter and energy. Spirit and dust. masculine and feminine. They dance– not compete. But when I was in my trauma brain I had an inner enemy…I was always hating on my self, my body, my behavior (or lack there of), but too much ‘me’ was the problem I needed to have children, be of service, get outside of myself and understand the law of karma. I needed to keep caring about others and bumping off them to see myself better, more clearly and see the ways I was NOT the woman I thought I’d be…I was on a collision course to divorce if I didn’t get my act together. And yes, I often created outer enemies too– projections.

ultimately, with nervous system regulation we are within ONE voice. and that voice is rooted in Love. Nervous system regulation is not ease, it’s not peace, it’s not anything but connection to Self. We remain. We do not abandon ourselves, or berate or shame for having human needs and desires.

Whether it is your own mind’s voice or when you hear from the shepherd, it is love. Your parts are organized and your intuition is organized and your Light is organized into a grand symphony playing– magical. Not madman. No fear of being crazy. It is a world who does not communicate with their Abba that is crazy. Every Child of God has access to their spiritual parent– unified. You are back in the arms of a sweet safe One.

John 3:5. It’s a brain wave pattern restoring that frequency from first year of life.